A Guarded Heart

The other day I was talking with one of my single friends.

We are in that stage of life when our friends are getting married and choosing careers and having babies. We are figuring out who we are, our likes and dislikes, and our relationship with God. And part of this is so good.  For the first time in my life I feel as though God is directing me to where I will be in ministry, to his purpose for me. I am realizing how things fit into my life to shape me into his purpose. But as we were contemplating this she uttered a phrase that suddenly struck my heart.

She said, “I just know who I am. No guy will get everything, or fully have me.” So guarded.  I knew the pain of walking through risky relationships myself, and how easy to let those scars carry and build up.

I’m wondering if I can be like that with God. Looking at him like a man of flesh, not of spirit. Carrying those scars and hurts from humans and portraying them onto him.  Too afraid of losing control to give him everything. But as I pondered that thought I realized why not? God is not a man of this world. Not plagued by sin but perfect. Not only is he perfect but he knows me, he created me. Why wouldn’t you want someone who knew you better than your self, who loved you perfectly, to own you completely.

I wanted one career out of my life, I was set and sure. But it was a logical choice, not the one my heart was calling for. God constantly laid on my heart dancing and I denied based on the fact I wouldn’t make enough money, it would be too difficult, that it wasn’t what I had planned for. But when I finally let go to God, I felt so relived that what I loved and what was laid on my heart was what he created me for. And he doesn’t mess up.

When we think of who we want to date, as soon as we see an option we jump up, as if we don’t catch his eye we will be single for all our life. But is God not much bigger than that? Should we not instead of jumping up towards the guy, fall on our knees towards God? Depending on him to guide us as to if this is a wise choice. God is more important and more worthy of dedication and praise that even the godliest man on earth.

No we should not let a man fully own us, but we should let God have and use us completely.

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